Googly, I feel like this a lot -- and I am 61, so I have been working hard a few decades longer. I think we have to remember that these thoughts are our disease talking to us. Thank you for your post, because it helped me to remember that. It's so much easier to see that in someone's else post/thoughts than my own. Hugs and hugs and hugs. I hope something blindlingly, delightfully good happens out of the blue.