I do not want to harm anyone's feelings. I don't want to dismiss anyone's grief. That said, I have had to grieve, and am still grieving that I will never and have never had a parent who is the type of parent to love and protect and nurture. I absolutely can't understand when I see people write about grieving for their parents. I am not trying to be mean because I believe it's true and am envious but at the same time it's like a different language. My mourning is odd, I have never been cherished and been the first priority. I hate the people who put an egg and sperm together and made me. And now, reading this, today being a special day, I miss my Jane who was a nurturing older woman to me. I also miss her because I read Miss. A and am reminded of the seeking I was doing when Jane came to my life. I want to speak with her. I can but she just cant talk back.