Isn't everyone a little bit crazy? It's just a matter of how we display our eccentricities. Some people pray to God for their sports team to win. Some people believe in lucky numbers or daily horoscopes. So on and so forth. We're just more interesting than them.

I've made my mate get up and turn on the lights and check under the bed on more than one occasion. He's annoyed after he calms down from my jumping up in bed and shouting, but he does it for me. Of course I feel terrible, but he understands it's part of my disease (and yes, it is a real disease with physical complications. Your brain chemistry, like blood sugar levels for diabetics, need to be regulated or there could be serious results).

The crash is inevitable. Your body can only take so many sleepless nights and frenetic energy. The depressive phase is when most bipolar people go searching for help because in mania, you tend to think you're fine if not better than ever. This is why so many of us are initially misdiagnosed. If we go to the hospital or a doctor for depression, they call it unipolar major depression. If they've never seen you manic or you don't even see your life as prior to the crash as being a kind of mania to describe it that way, there's no way for them to come to the correct conclusion. And it's good to get properly diagnosed sooner rather than later. Gives you a better long term chance for survival because at least you know what's going on and what you need to do to prevent the extreme swings or go to a hospital when either kind gets out of hand.

I didn't believe in the suggestions that I was bipolar either. I fought it for 6 months, then realized the mania and hypomania episodes were there all along from childhood to last year. I just didn't have a name for them. I also thought bipolar people were like my cousin's exwife who has like 9 kids (all of them taken away from her by the state) who is trashy, a drug and alcohol abuser, has a violent temper, and neglected her kids. Turns out, who you were before the diagnosis is pretty much who you'll be afterward. I was always a responsible, caring, and diligent individual and I still am. The moods just make it difficult for me to function at times. But I always feel bad for being depressed or for talking a mile a minute revealing way too much info or appearing to be hyper drunk when it does happen. I always make amends for the things I do while under the influence of the swings. Like most people on this site I just want to feel better and lead a positive productive life. To have hope for the future and all the rest.

It's going to be a tough road to getting well, but it will be worth it.