I am 4'11" and having been "clocked over the head" by a former 6'2" partner, thrown across the room, and saw stars (which was where I first understood where the 'stars' in cartoons arounds characters' heads came from), I'd say never.

However, I do understand the urge. And, I also understand we make choices. One choice is to walk out the door. I haven't read this whole thread, and I think men and women need to be safe.

Something to consider, EC, is maybe, instead of self-injury, your partner waited until you were asleep (because you might be bigger and stronger) and then clocked you over the head or...well, use your imagination. So, I think really nobody is safe, unless they live with people who have mutually agreed to a safe environment.

Sorry if this is a duplicate of someone else's answer. Or, way later than need be. Just my humble opinion.

Shar