Putting aside fears of failure and fears associated with lack of control are going to be more difficult than I imagined (when I was trying to put myself in your place). The rivers of "not good enough" have carved out some deep valleys over the years and diverting their force won't be easy.

My personal experience tells me it is possible to press on without self-confidence. How long one can do that is ... variable.

No matter what - we believe in YOU, Googley. What your family labels "success" and "failure" are meaningless here. Your own happiness and fulfillment, and how you think of yourself, are what matter to us.

May victory be yours!