I live in a complex of duplexes. Today I was taking groceries into my house, or what I thought was my house. I saw a chair and can of cigarette butts on what I thought was my porch. I thought it was the neighbors, it is something they would do. I got mad and threw the chair and kicked the can of butts. Only to find it wasn't my house! The guy who lived there and asked what I was doing? I started crying and told him I was so sorry and so embarassed. I told him I didn't know where I was at, and I cleaned up the mess I made. And I just kept crying. He offered to call somebody for me, and I said no and left in my car. I went the long way around and finally went home. I live a few doors down. Now I am afraid he will find out where I live and report me to the landlord, and then I'll get kicked out. I can't tell my partner because she will freak out and get all stressed, worried, and angry.

I am so stressed about this. I am such an idiot and a fool. I really am crazy. I hate myself.

The police have been to my house before with the fire department because I OD'ed and was sent to the hospital. Perhaps this is the last straw?