I can appreciate the optimism of your statement above, but after 30 years, just how long am I supposed to try? Obviously I am doing something wrong. Or expect too much.

Maybe I have to look at this like a woman who finds herself still single at 48 and afraid she'll never find the right man. I guess I'll just have to make my peace with the way my life is. Enjoy the work relationships for what they are, enjoy my exclusively male friends and forget about this, and hope to be senile by the time my husband dies and leaves me all alone.