i too have minimal contact with my mother (father too). it's for the best. i did go through a period of grieving the loss of an imagined relationship. i've now come to accept reality. one caution though--be careful about the "she will not hurt me." yes and no. for myself, i make choices and take the power back for my own life. but it does hurt and to some extent it always will. i accept this and try to not stuff that part away anymore. neither does it consume me. in other words, sometimes it's good to cry or whatever when those feelings arise because she has hurt you. for me it's dangerous to stuff or command my emotions gone. does this make sense? it sounds like you are on a healthy road. wishing you the best...