I'm still not well. And i still think i should be going to the hospital. Im weak, shaky, throwing up constantly and still have that throbbing mildly in my head.

However, as it seems, my entire family is "too busy" to take me up or take care of jer. I've called everyone with a car.

So im just basically lying down as much as possible because walking makes me shaky and weak. I just worry with my HBP and mild arrythmia issues if this is something more going on. I have NEVER had a headache that bad in all my life. That i can remember anyways!

I hung up on mom the last time she called, slurring. Shes the disgusting one when she drinks.. I know that sounds harsh, but its true and our entire fam avoids her when she drinks because shes so innapropriate. apparently she drank 8 beer. She worked from 10 until around eleven thirty and had eight beer since then?? Wow, just wow. Unless maybe she was drunk this morning? I dont know.

I am just so mad, and so sick... and there is damn nothing i can do. Plus i got two calls from childrens services already saying they need to talk or visit with me. So hurrah, someone said something to them AGAIN(they are already involved both because of mom and me visiting the hospital to get meds changed a while back). YAY.

Mom said she thinks if she tells them all of my dirty laundry they will give me help so she doesnt HAVE TO. She helps me because physically i cannot clean the house all on my own. I said um, well guess what, NO THEY WONT. They will come in and say i cannot provide for him on my own and take jer away. Thats the way they are. Of course she also beleives she gave me up to cps at 12. Thats not true either, protection removed me from her care.

I am just

I think the best thing for me to do would be to move back to the city, if i could find some way to afford it.