I feel I am on borrowed time- that suicide will eventually get me. I have a good life on the surface but I can't shake the depressiveness and suicide ideation. Most of my former problems have been solved yet I still want to die. Basically it's a case of 'it's life and I don't value life'.. yet I am trapped in it as I have a son and a wife. I have been this way for at least 20 years- I am 34 and have tried to kill myself 7 times but not since my son was born just under 2 years ago. I long to get cancer or something. Am I going to kill myself or what?
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