Berries, I can totally relate to what you are experiencing. I have intrusive thoughts that tell me or question my mental stability all the time. I have been stabilized for almost 2.5 years without hospitalizations or ER visits. I often ponder things such as: Do I really have bipolar disorder? Do I really need to take 4 different types of medication to feel "normal" or to reduce mood changes? Could the doctors be incorrect about my "mental illness"? Are you sure there isn't a herbal supplement or vitamins I could be taking so I don't gain so much weight?

Questions I have are endless!

But one thing I know for sure is that I do not want to have a manic episode ever again. Mine are VERY embarrassing and I am totally ashamed of myself. So like it or lump it I am chained to my medications until they find a cure for bipolar disorder!