Have you ever felt like your head is stuffed full of thoughts and feelings, but they may as well be in a foreign language since you can't figure out what they mean anyways? I feel full ... I don't know how to explain it better than that, mostly because I don't have the words for it right now. I don't have the words to journal but if I don't journal how am I going to get the feelings out and if I don't get the feelings out how am I going to get to bed and if I don't get to bed how am I supposed to have the energy to drag myself through tomorrow???



I hate it when I don't have words. I operate in words. There is a constant narrative going on in my head and if I don't get some of it down on paper, eventually I run myself ragged just by thinking. I don't know why I am the way I am, and for all the pain it causes me to be that way and not to have any other outlets because my mind just doesn't work like that, I wouldn't give it up for the world because I love to write. It's the best coping mechanism I have, and without it I feel like I'm just filling up with my depression and I can't get it out. I'm going to overflow. Or maybe explode. Or maybe drown. I don't know, because I don't have the words for that feeling either.