((((((((((((((((Rapunzel))))))))))))))))
There is so much in this topic... and so much familiar to me too in what you wrote...

sabotage by my mother. yes i get this everytime i get close to moving
She taught me that nothing I had was mine because she essentially owned me. interesting because this was my dad - even owned my teeth after the braces... controlled appointments, even when i was 3000 miles away.
giving up my pets and animals is would be unacceptable for me and I don't know if I could find a way to take them with me. yeah - working on this one too - the cat is really hers, but he loves ME and i him, and I care for his medicines.
But you don't have to give her your money or anything else, and you can say no to her How??? It is rent - she demands it - even when it comes from my school loans and educational awards. she still owes me $60 i have a feeling i will never see again... just like half the cat vet bills all these times...
decide to take charge of your life. does it sound totally weak and pathetic if i say i'm not sure i know how to any more? I've left here 3 times - all failed financially and emotionally. a 4th time with a touring performance group and i got deathly ill. mom said "thank god you're back - i would have died without you."
People like you and me and my sister tend to be nearly invisible, and hard to find. i do remember being invisible for so so so long. i think i am not so much any more, but maybe now just transparent?
If you found someone else in a similar situation, would you be able to share a house or apartment? Would that help? i honestly think it wouldn't because i have yet to learn who I am - and stop being a chamelion, changing to the environment and likes/dislikes of others. I still hide in my corner (transparent?) and try to blend in with the wall IRL. I need a chance to spread my wings and find out what i like/dislike, who i am, what i will become, find some interests to live for, get involved, stop tiptoing around others, find my voice and remember how to use it, learn how to live independently WELL and be emotionally well adjusted. *whew!* that's a lot!

I'll try to stop picking on you. You really have my attention because I relate to your circumstances so much. It is ok. I chose to be involved in this conversation - I just hope I can be as beneficial to it as you have been to me.