goddessgirl, this sounds absolutely, positively scary and miserable.

has he been officially dx'ed with BPD. if so, is he on meds?

that being said, i don't know if you're going to want to hear anything else i'm about to say. but i'm saying it out of care and experience.

it is your b/f's responsibility to get himself stabalized. he needs to do that before you even CONSIDER marrying him. he's treating you this way now. it will not improve without him getting ALOT of help.

please don't marry him and allow him to continue to abuse you, and then as the child gets older, his illness will affect it immensely. the child doesn't deserve that. even if he treats the child with extreme care, what would it do to the child to see him treating you that way? any way you look at it, it's not good for that precious baby to be involved in.

i would tell him that he no longer has any access to you until he's gotten himself to dr and in therapy AND has become stabalized.

i know this sounds harsh, and i don't want it to. there's no other way to say it and a precious, innocent is involved.

please let us know and keep yourself and the baby safe,

kd