Babysteps,
I have not read the replies to this thread...

First, your thread title..."I'm already dead" brings sincere sadness to me. I hope in my heart that this is not how you truly see life.

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew. ~~Saint Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

If anyone has not already figured it out, I love quotations. I find that they are insightful and thought provoking. Once upon a time it would take me a good while to figure out what the message was, the intent behind the word. I have gotten better at it today. My favorite site is www.quotationspage.com...I can put any word in the search and find just about anything. I now collect quotes that bring meaning to me.

You know you are not alone since you know you have your cyber friends. I too seek solice from my cyber friends here and on a neurology forum.

Alone...this is something I can and do identify with on a daily basis. I have been alone since my marriage broke up 24 years ago. Why? For good reason, but I know for most of those years I would not have been a good partner for anyone.

It is a vicious cycle, but not finding the end to your suffering would be sad. It has taken me many years to see that there is light at the end of this tunnel. Don't let it take you as many years as it has taken me!! Please!!