Yeah, I totally agree. My close ones are the ones I get paranoid delusions about, and they set me off (when I am in a dark place). I was just reading some of my old posts. They scare me to death that I could have said or done those things. But the evidence is there on these forums. I never want to be in that dark of place again.

I also found comfort in my dog. Wishing that all humans could give unconditional love like a dog does. One time my wife said, "Why didn't you marry a pug then?!" - I was in a very dark place at that time. I hope you can find peace.