I think people like using words a bit to much to categorize situations.

Is it "cheating" if both people agree "cheating" requires physical contact, then no... if one person thinks it does and other does not, then yes and no...

I would look past the categorized term and simply ask if your feelings are being disrespected... then there is not question.

So long as people have an out simply by hiding behind an indifference to terms, they feel ok with what they do, or use it as an escape to admitting their wrong.

In a committed relationship its a commitment of body AND MIND. Your mind should be treated with the same respect as your physical relationship. Is he dishonoring you by doing this, yes. It is IMHO his duty to ensure you are secure in his desires for you and only you, and that means taking into consideration all his actions that would make you question this.