Quote:
Originally Posted by deliquesce
i am torn between wanting help, but also not wanting to burden anyone with having to respond.
|
Why do so many of my favorite people here worry about being a burden (or bother, as the case may be)? Worse, why do they seem to get most concerned about it after doing what sounds to me like some of their best sharing? If they really are being burdensome and I'm failing to see it, and being drawn to them on that very account, and I lack the good sense to even feel burdened, there must be something seriously wrong with me. Where's that : pacingfloor : unsmiley when we need it? [Flips through DSM-IV R] failure to feel burdened, failure to feel burdened... which axis would that be on?
Well, first things first: ((((((((((
))))))))))
<--- If you won't take that bag off, you'll just have to settle for crackly hugs.
Re: pdoc and therapy
Quote:
|
it is the kind of support i guess one could find from a (very understanding) friend - something that makes you feel not so alone, and as if someone is with you, and sometimes some clear insight - but... i don't know if it is "therapy" in the sense that we are working towards clear goals, or that there is any idea of how to move along.
|
Sounds to me like the very essence of therapy as Carl Rogers, for example, envisioned it, before the witch doctors got hold of it and added bells, whistles, diagnoses, clear goals, and other mumbo-jumbo (JMO).
Quote:
|
i'm someone who's so goal focussed, and needs the steps planned out and stuff, and i don't know where we're going and how to get there.
|
I say the real therapy is something that sneaks up on you from behind while your mind is distracted with how the goals and steps and stuff don't seem to be working. I don't think I'm spoiling any surprises by telling you that, because you're not going to get it anyway till you're good and ready.
Quote:
|
i am sure if i came to him with all these thoughts he would be brilliant. but that would involve doing the scary stuff, and i like having pdoc as my safe person.
|
To go to, in between doing the scary stuff by yourself? Why not? Whatever works for you. You're obviously doing
something right or -- guess what -- this stuff wouldn't even be coming up for you!
Quote:
|
no one helps me with the trauma stuff, i guess. i stuff it down and only let it come out sometimes. this thread probably represents the furthest i have ever gone in processing it and sharing with someone else.
|
Which just goes along with what I've suspected since I've known you: there's no stopping you.
Quote:
|
i dont like ppl knowing when i am failing, but at the same time i'm just as ashamed when i go well.
|
Two important points I get from that: (1.) If you already know you're going to give yourself an equally hard time whether you win or lose, I should think that would take a lot of the pressure off and give you the freedom to play it whatever way suits you best; and (2.) if you're ashamed even when you do well, then being ashamed sounds like just this thing you do to give yourself a hard time, and doesn't
mean anything. The sun rose this morning. Deli's ashamed. What else is new?
Quote:
|
'*****' is probably too good a word for me. i actually have a lot of respect for the (many) people i know who do that for a living. they do it for good reasons, like needing money. deli, on the other hand, did it because she wanted a hug... do you think someone who has sex with her father so she can pretend she is getting a hug is going to add value to the *****dom kingdom? taking applications?
|
If she were to join it, yes, I do (JMO, of course, as always). Compassion for sex workers -- that speaks well for you but from what we already know of you is hardly surprising. Meanwhile, how come none for you?
(For you, once you take the
off):
