Welcome to psychcentral dorothy. Could it be that part of your problem with other chatrooms is your computer/browser settings? I ask because of your problem with entering our chat area here. Just a thought.
Check your settings is all I can think of to help. You did say you downloaded the updated Java, right? I also use firefox.
Our chatrooms function quite well. A few members do have periodic problems with being booted out... We do hold ourselves to support when members need it ... we police ourselves generally but do have moderators too. It's unlike any other chat I've been in.

Again, welcome.. I think I know your s/n from "out there."