((((((((( Neesha )))))))))

You're in a very scary place in your thoughts right now. It's important to be aware of the tricks depression plays on us. The biggest lie it tells is that life is not worth living. Hating your depression is a statement that you wouldn't like to feel this way. Many people have described depression as an unhappy marriage. You go to bed with and wake up with an unwelcome partner each day. Unlike a marriage, there is no payoff with depression. Only you can begin the process of divorce.

Seeking help is the first step. You've demonstrated this by coming and posting here. So many here can relate to what you've described and you'll find welcoming, compassionate friends on the several forums. Sometimes sharing with others is what's needed to give us the "ummph" to get going again. Sometimes more professional help is needed.

I hope you will feel welcomed to come and vent, cry, complain, whine, release any pressures you might be feeling at different times. There is a self-injury forum you might be particularly interested in. We cannot be a suicide prevention center for several reasons. Please keep and use a local suicide prevention hotline number by your phone for any emergencies.

Hope you will re-visit, and better yet, join our loving family

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius