Quote:
Originally Posted by white_iris
ooops-------
Don't want to go that route!! Yet, right now the pain is reminding me that any little thing I do will cause major discomfort and near immobility.
I hurt!! I am frustrated!!! I have a full garden that needs to be weeded and cared for---flower gardens that are choked by weeds----much needs to be done and I can't.
H is wonderful, he is helping but works 40-50 hrs/wk. He is willing to do anything to make life easier for me........
There's where the guilt comes in
I have been nothing but a burden to him for near all our 37 yrs of marriage. Financial, emotional, physical.......
I CAN"T DO THIS ANY MORE 
T says to focus on what I CAN do and perhaps this is a time to explore NEW interests.......sounds ok but I said " right now i am in a crappy place and can't even think of that"
I'm exhausted, in pain, frustrated, angry, and trying to be "fine" to everyone including H. (who knows me too well).
I'm losing my grip
I'm losing my grounding
I'm wanting some relief.
I'm whinning and know that some who read this are in much worse shape than i am and living every day and getting thru.
my physical stuff isn't any worse that someone else and it happens to ppl every day...so i need to shut up now and want to delete this whole thing because it is one big pity party.
no need to read or reply.
i'll go back to class in sit in the broom closet. |
You know what - I'm very proud of you.
By getting this out, not holding it in, not wanting to be like those others.... IS A WONDERFUL process.
It infact WILL enable you to grow strong about the issues that you've shared.
By being strong I mean you know what you DON'T want to happen SO you won't ALLOW it, So it cannot be.........
The mind so messed up, BUT it also is a good thing.
You're thoughts may sound negative, but there realistic....
So now you know... You wrote it, you felt it, you see it.
I have belief in you that through this you will be able to come to some sort of peace with it...
NOT saying is GONNA ALL BE BETTER, just saying.....
You're doing a great job by KNOWING - So you have A LOT to work toward.....
SO your life will continue in the direction YOU chose - not the direction others tell you that you will go.....
AND such a wonderful person to be there for and with you -
If this person is there - It means they WANT to be....
Isn't that beautiful............
