Quote:
Originally Posted by ellyb
I am 43 and have suffered with undiagnosed BP since my teens. Was diagnosed by two doctors, one psychiatrist, two psychologists around six to eight months ago. I always knew there was something very wrong with me but was utterly paranoid that I would have my kids taken from me and placed in care or sent to live a long distance away to be with their father. Now that they are 17 and 19 I wish someone would!! ... seriously.
Just about every thought and many of the actions that are expressed in this wonderful forum I have felt or have done. I relate to everyone here completely.
About eight months ago I was put on Lithium, then a slow release version of Lith and an anti-depressant, Fluvoxamine. I ended up on 1200mg of Lithium daily.
Initially I thought it was doing good things as the constant lifetime of endless brain chatter quietened then stopped. I was peaceful for a while. No more dreams, no more creativity, and then eventually, no more me.
I was unable to remember what I was saying, doing or even thinking most of the time. I couldn't even think what it was that I was supposed to be thinking or feeling at any given time. I couldn't concentrate to read and that is crucial to my work. My mind became mush.
I remained suicidal, 'living' a flatline existence and putting on about 20kg in five months. I couldn't work out what to wear each day, so I would wear the same thing day after day, unless my husband would find clothes for me and set them out on the bed.
After the Lith I no longer was hypo, so there was no break from the mindless depression.
I am self employed as I am not able to work full time, and never have been. I am in partnership in a small business that we are gradually building up. We have several other sub-contractors who we bring in from time to time to work with us. I was almost completely unable to work, everything was a massive effort for a long time before the diagnosis and even worse after.
Then I had enough.
I went off the Fluvox gradually over about three weeks, then went off the 1200mg of Lithium cold turkey.
I had read about Omega 3 in fish oil having some success with both depression and BP. From what I read it appeared that a usual dose is about 3g a day. For someone who is depressed, then 6g appears to help. For a change in BP symptoms, 10g was administered.
I am not a health professional, I just researched this info myself, and reckoned it just had to be worth a try. I had nothing to lose.
When I went off the Lith about six weeks ago I could literally feel a fog lifting from inside my brain, almost like a soggy cotton wool curtain was rising. Each day I noticed an improvement. It took three days. I could actually feel when my head was finally clear that third day.
The first thing to come back was an increasingly busy mind and then my dreams - all in the first week.
Then gradually my creativity has begun to improve, my concentration means that I am now once again a useful member of my business.
Although I am not wildly sociable at the best of times, I am able to socialise and interact with others again (haven't been able to do that for a year at the very least). I can even hold a conversation again.
I still have everything I need to do during the day programmed into my calendar in my phone with an alarm set to remind me, but now I usually know what it is that it is reminding me about before I look at the screen.
From the minute I cold turkied the Lith, I replaced it with seven 1500mg capsules of fish oil daily. My phone reminds me to take four at 7 am and three at 7 pm, bringing the total to 10.5mg. I also take one 7500mg Gingko Biloba blend capsule in the morning.
I am aware that I will have to keep a watch on my hypomanic side, but living without the bulk of the hideous other side, I will persevere.
I am not 'cured', but I would highly recommend you do a bit of research on this and make your minds up for yourselves.
It has made me live again. I cannot remember how long it's been since I felt this good. Long way to go, but, it's a start.
|
Hello, first sorry it took ALL those years to be diagnoised.
Bipolar is difficult. I majorally have it.
It is a roller coaster life, but hey - we didn't chose it, we just have to try and control it.
ALL ALL people that are on medication have at one point taken themselves off.
Especially when we think we're feeling better or don't really need it.
Well that's when we REALLY do need it.
Bipolar is NOT easily treated - herbal will NOT work....
The ups and downs are too radically, un-expected.
As for the medication - with any, it's a complete TRIAL AND ERROR.
It is frustrating, but that's how it is for everyone.
Each chemistry is different.
Heck I can't have any artifical sweetners or my head starts spinning and 'weird' but my nose gets cold.
I have to NOT have anything caffienee, too sugary - though I CRAVE it big time....
Eating is very important for this diease - not over eating of course,
buting eating helps a little stablization.
Believe I am NO expert - I am struggling and have been for years.
Also just when I THINK a medication is working, before I know it - It no longer works.
Bipolar is NOT an just UP thing or DOWN thing it's a combination at the SAME time.
SO I use a anti-depressant, anti-anxiety and a MOOD STABILIZER.
YET, I still have difficulties, sleep, paranoid, anxiety, etc.
IT'S ALL OKAY THOUGH..... It's not, but it is.
We're SPECIAL, usually high functioning, can do many things at once, but Then the DOWN time comes.... expected.... what goes up....
Write me anytime....
I call Bipolar one of them most difficult dieases but one of the most interesting one.
Perfer NOT to have it - But hey, I've be blessed with it LOL
Susan alas Starlite

p.s. 48.