Hi everyone -- I'm totally new to this world of online pschological help, etc, but I'll give it a go.

Basically, I'm a 20-yr-old female and just a bit confused about a few things. I had a very minor case of I sexual abuse as a youngster -- it was a much older cousin, I was probably 2 or 3 when it started -- it happened on multiple occasions, over a period of time I guess (it's all a bit hazy)... nothing serious like penetration, etc... but there was some intimidation I believe, and perhaps some, I wouldn't say violence, but physical distress. It's difficult to describe really, because my memory is very poor. I kept it a secret until I was in middle school (it did haunt me up until then) -- I told my mom, and we never really brought it up again... and then I finally went into more discussion this past year (she didn't know it happened more than once).

Anyways, since it was such a mild case/didn't involve a parent, etc, I don't think it had a real effect on me, understandably! I mean, I see this cousin at family reunions, and it doesn't creep me out (is that weird?).

But, I AM one to overthink things and I was examining my odd anti-social behaviors, unusually low self-esteem/depression, and even sexual dysfunction (I'm not promiscuous, in fact, I'm a virgin, but I know I view sex differently -- not necessarily for worse -- than others) and I was just wondering if it could have anything to do with that? Without me really knowing?

I feel like the biggest wimp for trying to blame some of my emotional troubles on this part of my childhood, because I feel like it's SOOO insignificant in comparison to what others have gone through (man, I was just browsing this forum....)

Basically, I just don't know -- am I making things up in my head, wrongfully attributing some of my problems to what happened? If I am, why am I doing that?

If I'm not, what should I do? I don't relive the event (no problems of that nature), I don't feel uncomfortable divulging what happened (though it is difficult to recall memories word-for-word)... but obviously, if it's had an effect, I want to know how to deal with it.

So anyways, sorry for the rambling, but I just figured it couldn't hurt to ask for a little advice.

Thanks.