Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate
When I'm off my meds I eventually get suicidal. But at first I feel very alive, like I feel things more deeply, more keenly. It feels good.
I've been back on my meds for several months now. No more black holes and feeling suicidal. But no more "feelings" either. I do feel things but it all seems kind of remote and far away. I miss the more intense feelings of "feeling alive." The only intense feeling I have right now is my anxiety going off and on.  Everything else is kind of .... bland. Is this how "normal" people feel?
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Yes, I know. I don't feel "drugged" when I'm on my meds but there is the other side. If I'm off too long then the darkness and suicidal thoughts creep back in.
After a day or two of not taking my meds, I feel alive. My T mentioned looking less medicated. And that's how I feel, less medicated. I feel apart of the world around me not just "there".
Since I've been on meds for so long now I no longer remember how "normal" people feel.
kebs