|
Aug 08, 2009, 02:39 PM
|
|
|
{{{ wantto }}} 
I was actually talking to p-doc about this very thing, although my disconnect is not as deep as yours. I can remember people, but it's like someone unplugs my emotional attachment to them when I walk out the door. Unless of course, they die. Then I'll lose the "physical" memory of them, or at least it fades wayyy into the background (too painful). Instead, I hold on to the emotions associated with them, (usually sadness) as if the emotion IS the memory. P-doc said we need to reverse this.
Even things like transitional objects don't really help. I "know" they're supposed to keep me connected to T but I can't seem to figure it all out. At least not yet.
Quote:
|
This is going to take too long if I can't find a solution around it.
|
I'm a firm believer that knowledge is power. The more we learn about the reasons behind what we do, the more the puzzle pieces start to fit. If you did some reading about object relations, I think it would be a "V-8" moment. 
I think it's perfectly understandable why you disconnect like you do, considering the severity of your trauma/s.
Quote:
|
I get upset with myself sometimes about it
|
Well knock it off. 
Read this and see if it makes any sense.
Maybe you always knew that your "attachment" to the parental units was for basic survival needs only. Why would you ever in a million years want to hold on to their moral characters? 
You wouldn't. Hence the disconnect. You can't trust the moral characters of most people, although I think some might've snuck in behind that big ol' wall.
|