Quote:
Originally Posted by trevorzero
Thanks to everyone who posted. I do appreciate you taking the time to offer your perspectives.
The whole forum "friend" thing is sort of warped, and it's bound to lead to disappointment. It would probably be better if there was an "acquaintance" category as a first step to take when getting to know somebody. At least it would be more honest and realistic.
I truly don't want to be judgemental when it comes to evaluating the "disappearances" of my friends. There are times when I don't feel like communicating too much, either. But it's not that hard to post a very short message to anyone who has been friendly to say that you're going away for a little while.
That's really all I ask.  |
The befriending feature does have that potential to be a double edged sword.
Friendships, on-line, or IRL, are complicated things with vast amounts of subtle interactions & nuances - the befriending feature on forums isn't on it's own a precise indicator of the nature of a particular friendship, but more just an indicator that there is a friendship there. Different people have very different ideas about what friending somebody means to them - for some the linkage may be a relatively casual one, but for others there's a lot more of a reciprocal relationship implied/expected. It's not always obvious to either party where between these 2 poles that friending is going to be.
The other wrinkle that I'm personally very aware of, is that depression/anxiety tends to drive me away from social contact - even of net-based variety. In that frame of mind, I can't imagine why anybody would be interested in communicating with me & to leave them a note saying that I'm going to be incommunicado for a while just feels like whining & trying to get attention that I'd feel that I don't deserve. Having said that, I'd probably
try to do so anyway, if I knew that the other party would worry, or would be offended if I did not.