Its been crazy I went on vacation and forgot my meds so I had to stop and c a doc to get some cuz I dnt really have one doc anymore. They gave me my script thanl goodness. Only thing with me is I'm rapid cycling right now and it makes my life miseralble. Pretty soon I have to go sEe a new doc and make surthey dnt give me stuff to take all the energy away. I need a ltl but I dnt need the irritability. I hate being irritable it hurts it really really hurts. I swear I can feel a gush of fluid go in my brain and the cloudiness sets in and noise hurts its not like a real headache but a feeling one I can't describe but it still hurts. I'm so tired of these ups and downs and the downs have been bad bad bad so bad my mother told me to finish my vacation at her house. Like I want to do that never bcz that wld mean I am not capable of taking care of my own. I am I am I'm fine enuff to do that. It may hurt and I may flip back and forth and I may feel it shld be the end but I dnt need help. I can do it ill make it just like last time just like all the times I really think I'm getting better at it. I really think I'm going to be able to stp it soon as long as I have the anxiety taken care of I can do anything. Its all good