A few weeks ago, I emailed my "ex" father in law and said that I am moving to TX and lwft my cell phone # to give to his son, my "ex" husband so I could inform him of this move.

I have to do this so my "ex" is aware that I would be taking the children out of state. Understand, that I have not seen or heard from my "ex" husband in 7 years so never in my wildest dream (or nightmares) did I think he would reply. Until yesterday morning at 7:04 am when I received a message on my cell phone.

The message said that she received my email and would like me to call him back at either his home # or cell #. I woke my hubby up and told him that I received a reply. He couldnt beleive it either. We never thought that Matt would ever, ever, ever reply.

I endured 3 years of abuse from this man. Severe emotional, mental and physical abuse. I dealt with him shooting a gun passed my head when I was 7 month prego with our daughter. I endured countless beatings for no reason. The drinking and the drugs that he would do infront of our two daughters after I begged him not too. Big mistake. I should have never spoke up. Only got me more beatings.

Like I said, 7 years have gone by not hearing his voice, not feeling the overhang of fear I had when being in his presence. I had been out of touch with that. He asked me about the girls. I told him everything he wanted to know. He asked if he could see them, just once he said. He said that he doesnt want to be a permanant fixture in their lives because he knows it is too late to make up for all those missed years but wanted to see them one time before our move. I told him I would call him back.

I talked it over with my hubby and he told me that whatever I decided that he was behing me 100%.

I called Matt back and told him that I would let him see the children one last time only if we met in a public place. He agreed.

We met at TGI Fridays by the mall where I live. I didnt tell the girls because I didnt want to upset them if he decided not to show up. He did show up and at the last minute I said that we were there to see Matt. They said "Matt who?" I explained the situation and they both were like, OK.....
So he showed up, we sat down at the table and he looked at both of them like they were two pots of gold sitting there. He couldnt take his eyes off of them. He said that he didnt even recognize them because they were 5 and 7 the last time he saw them. He said that he had gotten married two years ago. Has no kids with this women. The kids didnt know what to say. They just sat their and ate their food.

I was numb the entire time i was there I was numb. I didnt feel fear, anger, or anything. Just completely numb. I dont know how I was supposed to feel anyway, I just know that I didnt feel much of anything. I dont understand why i didnt feel anything.I just dont understand it. The whole meeting lasted roughly 1.5 hours and when we were finished we parted like it was nothing. I dont know how I feel. The girls seem to not feel much of anything either. They said that he doesnt look the same and that they didnt even recognize him. I asked them if they were sad. They said no. I asked them if they were glad to see him and they said no. I asked them how they felt about seeing them and they said, I dont know.

Well I dont know either and it kinda confuses me. I am at a loss. A total loss. Is this normal? Why am I numb to this? I just dont really understand why.