i think i am in a mixed episode or am cycling rapidly during the day. This happened after at least 5 mood swings yesterday.

I had written in my journal one day when i was really down and feeling hatred for myself and everyone in my life, that i wanted to learn glass blowing so that i could make breath blown bubbles to contain all my awful and hatred-filled thoughts. I saw myself blowing into the molten glass and breathing out all my awful thoughts. I pictured these bubbles as containers to put all my "stuff" in. They were made of the most beautiful colors and i pictured them either suspended or floating away if i no longer needed them. I thought about putting myself in one as well to protect myself from everything i was afraid of in the world. Then last night i was out with my husband and we were walking around town. All the shops were closed, but there in the window of the first shop were what seemed like 100 of the exact glass bubbles i had pictured. Each was made in a beautiful color and had, inside it, a web of glass. The sign in the window explained that they were popluar beginning in the 18th century and were called witch balls. They were made of beautiful colors and evil spirits were attracted to them. Once an evil spirit touched one it was encased inside the glass ball and caught in the web forever.
I had to use the building to hold myself up. I started crying. I had told nobody about what i had written only days before. I told my husband what i had written, and when i regained my composure, we kept walking. Every shop we passed had these glass balls suspended by ribbons in the window.