My Dissociation history: I'm in my late 30's. I've been living with my parents for the last 10 years. I lost my job, my flat and my car. Luckily I get great support from my parents and we get on very well. I see my friends and other family very seldom. But I keep contact via sms. I have been with the same, great psychiatrist for longer than a decade. I am on an anti-depressant and I take a lot of Valium. I am a very, very anxious person which I have not always been. I've always been very sensitive. But frequently I get so depressed about my life, that I have to go for Electro Convulsive Treatment.

My questions:

1. I chronically feel taller than I am and I feel as if my eyes are looking down on everything. Who feels like this?

2. When I look in a mirror, I look out of focus and I experience myself as abnormally ugly, which I'm not. This hurts my self esteem extremely bad. Who feels like this?

3. ECT makes me feel normal and look normal to myself for a week or more. Who feels like this?

I'm still hanging on, but it's very, very tough and sad. Kind regards to all of you out there struggling with dissociation.