Today being techniqually father's day my kids should be with thier dad, but since I hardley ever see them he promised me pretty much all week that he would bring them up so I can have my visit. I called him last night to conferm that they were comming and he said yes. I went out at 1 am (after working my *** off all day doing housework and EVERYONE'S laundry) went grocery shopping made my dad's dinner for tonight so he would have to just warm it up make all the fixings for a picnic downtown and around 5 am I was in bed. I woke when the alarm sounded at 7 am got up went downstairs started my grandmothers coffee got her showered (she had an accedent) changed and ran up took a very fast shower and ran back down and started to fix her breakfast. By this time it was 9 am and my ex still hadn't called to saay that he was on his way (he always does) so I called him. He answered the phone and I asked when he was going to leave so that I was ready by the time he came. He told me that he wasn't going to come. When I asked him why he kept saying that today was his day and he could do what he wanted and didn't have to do what he didn't want to and he didn't want to come here. He had too many things going on to go to Chicago to see me and hung up on me. I started to cry instantly.

When my dad woke up he asked me when are the kids comming and I just started to cry again. My brother got up and asked me the same thing. I started to cry. I go in to my granny's and she asked if the kids were here yet and I am so glad that she is almost all the way blind so that she didn't see me cry (she is old don't need my problems added to her). I told her that Elisa got sick and that was why they weren't comming. Do I have a right to be this upset and this hurt? Why do I let him do this to me? Why can't I just "get better" so that I could have my kids again?

I REALLY HATE HIM AND I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!