Its actually nothing yet. I'm supposed to have our first date in one week. My first in 3 years. I'm scared that I'm already a no. Today we chatted and I had to stop so I cld cry. And cry and cry. And now I'm not sure I even want to go out and show this person I'm a big blubbery baby. I'm starting to read into everything that he says. Anything that says to me I don't think you are good enuff. And believe me have found a few. I realize I may not allow it to happen so I dnt have to show this side of myself. Noone wants a sad friend. Maybe I shldnt even try. U c actually the closer it gets the sadder I get just in case it dsn work out then I'm already dwn. I wish I cld just be normal and happy instead of depressed and sometimes manic. I've failed at all previous attempts I feel like I've already failed at this one and we haven't even had a first date. I'm scared. I'm very scared bcz talking we get along so so well.