Bridgie, I so wish I/we could simply sweep away all your pain and depression. What you are surviving now would crush me - you may laugh, but I and some others here wouldn't hesitate holding you up as an example of strength.

Among my observations is, even as depression defies logic, so does happiness. The richest, most accomplished person in the world can fall victim to depression. So also the most depressed person, feeling totally unworthy, can find her- or himself lifted up by happiness springing from who knows where.

Depression has found you. But your present circumstances can't prevent happiness from finding you, too. And my wish for you, and for your family, is that happiness may come quickly!