I'm sinking very quickly, crying, thinking about death. Why does it feel like this will never get better, will never end? How could I possibly do anything with my life with this disease? I keep failing at everything because of my ****ing moods. I don't even know why I bother trying sometimes. It's like my hope is always crushed over and over.

I'm sorry if I'm making anyone feel bad. I just feel horrible and I don't know what to do anymore.