I just have to make it through the night. I'm crying, but I know if I can get through then night I'll probably feel different in the morning.

I'm always the first one to point out that this is a disease and it's not our fault and our only job is to get well (take our meds, go to therapy, etc.), but right now I feel so weak, like such a wreck, a loser, a nothing. Thinking it would be better on the planet if I were gone. But then, the planet would be better off if most humans were gone. It's a mad world. My mind is going into dangerous territory and I keep reigning it in saying, "Don't go there," but it keeps pressuring me to find a way out of this pain. I don't think there is a way out right now. So I'll go to sleep to not have to think about it for a while.