Quote:
Originally Posted by degas
It hasn't been long since I realized that avoidant personality is a bad trait. Actually, I thought it cured most things. My childhood background involved moving at least once a year due to no choice of mine. I realize now that this was my parents using avoidance to solve their problems. I was probably one of them because I was a responsibility that they had to shift from place to place for who's own good? Certainly not mine. Anyway, I learned that when you change locales you are offered a brand new beginning, no known history, no preconceptions. A chance to re-invent yourself if you wish to.
In adulthood I still use these avoidant methods. I recently quit my job to avoid confrontations and responsibility. I have simply cut off some friends and siblings because it got so difficult for me to deal with them and withstand their insults and disapprovals. I am just about ready to leave my marriage because I don't like what it has made me become, but now I can't quite disentangle myself from the whole thing. This sometimes, in my most depressed hours, makes me want to run off a cliff to avoid life all together. How do others deal with things that they can't face?  |
i can totally relate to what you are sharing. i moved around alot when i was growing up and as an adult i've perfected the moving / new environment routine. in the last 4 years i've moved, 12 times and i'm in a place that is too small for me and my dog. i never related it to avoidance but i guess its true. i've not spoken with my mother over the phone for almost 2 years, speaking with her makes me feel like a rejected, unworthy little kid. i've recently relocated to the town where my son is going to school so that i could be closer to him but as it turns out even though i asked him about my moving here before i did it, he really does not want to do much with me. and i've been thinking that maybe i just need to move away and let him continue getting on w/his life. i add stress to his life and his lack of desire to hang out as often as i'd like him to or the caring that i feel i want (daily calls, pop in to see me, help w/heavy work around the apt). i also understand that the moving around has taken a toll on me and i want to settle down some where but i've not been successfull.
anyway, there's a lot more i can write on the subject, it feels good to find others who feel the same way / understand what i'm going thru. this is one of the main reasons i've been seeking therapy/support.
what can we do to helpourselfs??
thanks for sharing and listening, d.