these are all the emotions i am feeling after seeing my medical dr today.
he said the xrays were "no worse than mine would be at our age" and he really doesn't think that what is there is causing the pain as intense as it is. (10)
said it's not a pinched nerve or anything he can see--maybe some artritis in the hip----but not worth an x-ray.
back not worth doing the mri. says it will most likely get better with time. doesn't deny i am in pain, but doesn't see any reason for further investigation--not now. Rx pain meds, anti-inflamatory meds and keep on with the chiropractor....do the exercises etc.......

should be happy i guess--instead i want to cry and scream ---damn it hurts!!!!!!!!! I'm frustrated!!!!!!

what the he-- doesn't matter anyway. back to just muscle pain (hip rotator muscles most likely the cause--perhaps) didn't mention the fibro but i can hear it wanting to be said.......

One voice inside yells "REJOICE--you don't need surgury, it will most likely get better...."
The other voice says "who the hell cares---i'm just a big attention seeking baby that wants someone to feel sorry for her....get up off your a-- and quit complaining..."

so i will listen to the second voice.
quit complaining
forget the tears
push on thru it like i've done before
and before
and before
and again
and again......
wtf--it's just a crappy old damaged body anyway.......

enough ranting.
i'll close the subject
i'll go away.