It has been more than 4 months that I have been in this horrible depression and suffering from crippling anxiety. I have done everything I was told to do, I see a therapist, my doctor on a regular basis. I have been to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. Now they are changing my meds after a lot of trials with different meds, went off sleeping pills etc...And nothing has changed, I am still in the same hole I was in...Wake up every morning with this feeling of dread, lie around the bed till noon, get up to lie down again in front of the tv...waiting for sleep to come...
Five months ago I was working at a full time job, taking care of my house and making sure my adult daughters and everyone else I care about was taken care of, leading a normal life as a functional adult. Now I have become an isolated, sad, unable to function childlike pathetic human being.
I want to beleive this new med will do the trick but I have also lost faith in meds and doctors. I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I am constantly thinking something bad will happen to the people I love, mainly my daughters, it is unbearable.
I have been thinking all day of writing this but why??? I dont know.... I cannot really describe the way I feel with the right words, another thing that has left me: my ability to communicate in a proper way...my ability to think....my ability to concentrate...to make rational decisions, actually any decisions...When will it stop???