Your probably going to get a lot of different replies on this, so I will just say what I think. First thing is I'm a little thrown off by the 12 year old sitting on his lap like a high school sweet heart. That really makes me wonder. Another thing before I go any further, I do have a daughter. Regardless if that is his daughter or not she should show respect to you. I would not bow down to her. As far as her cloths I would have my foot in her butt. My daughter is 17 almost 18, and she KNOWS to dress in a proper manner. Especially when she is around me. You should tell him(maybe you already have) that she needs to be disciplined. Like with you fixing dinner to say, I would tell your husband and the daughter either you eat what I fix or you will go hungry. If you don't like what she's wearing then I would tell your husband that if she is living in my house she is going to dress in a proper way. If she is stealing now the problems will only get much worse if she doesn't start being disciplined. If your husband refuses to listen to you then you might need to take action, and let him know your not going to put up with bad behavior. He shouldn't be letting her disrespect you like that. Not only is she disrespecting you, your husband is to. I bet all the other kids feel left out. What I would do is tell him one more time, and if nothing changed I would leave, and then see what he thinks. My bf has a son with another woman who lives with us, and he knows that he has got to respect me. I'm not sure if this was much help. Keep posting so we know how you are. Take care.