I am starting to hate my meds. The desire to curl up in a ball is still there; the desire to hide away from the world is still there. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Before the meds, I could do that -- I was too sick to do anything else. You could not have gotten me out of bed any more than you could have gotten me to flap my arms and fly. It just wasn't going to happen. Now that I'm on meds and they're working, they've made me capable of getting on with my life without getting rid of the desire to hide myself away. I have enough energy to live, it seems, but not enough to enjoy living. It's making me wonder what the point of taking the meds is at all. If I have to suffer from my own thoughts and feelings, wouldn't it be better to become inert and unconscious and let them have me for a while, rather than just dragging myself from day to day while the feelings consume me in public where I can't even react to how terrible I feel?