I'm glad you're on here too. I just got dx'd in June, and everyone on the site w/bipolar that I've exchanged with has been helpful and cool. Welcome!



And there'll be more where that came from.

Anywhose, sorry about the rant, just steam letting. One of my theories about those who are only mentally ill part of the time (meaning we have stretches without terrible mood swings) is that something traumatic in our past colors our view of the present and getting triggered can alter the chemicals in our brain or trip a wire of sorts. The mania is a part of denial of the pain and the depression is the reality trying to make up for the denial, but it's an overreaction to the underlying issue. This is why therapy and coping tools can help as much as meds that make up for the brain chemistry/wiring problems.

Whenever I see people starving or being destroyed by war or piles of garbage that children grow up on, I get extremely depressed because I think A)Life is terrible and B)There's nothing I can do about it. Both of these thoughts are only part of the truth. Life often terrible, but also wonderful (achingly beautiful as I see it). I may not be able to fix all the problems of the world, but I can improve it somehow. Just not sure how yet.

I do feel like a burden on the planet, so I do the best I can...eat vegetarian, recycle everything possible, don't run the water too long, wear my clothes until they have holes in them (and after), don't want to procreate, etc. But still, there is a negative impact by my consumption and waste. I want to clean up the planet such that my net effect is zero if not positive. I want to take care of the animals we've harmed by taking away their parents or their ecosystem. I want to (if I ever get unscrewed up enough) adopt a child who would otherwise starve and lack someone to care about them in those difficult years of discovering who you are and what you want to do. I want to live life with zest and not constantly be thinking about the fact that it will one day end...so what's the point? I want to get outside of my head and me and do something with this my life. So many have already invested in me and I don't want to let them down...their efforts to go to waste.

Well, that was ambitious for this hour.

So, Paulette, you're part of helping me with my life's work too.