Why does it hurt so much still after nearly 2 years of separation?

My daughter saw her dad for the first time on saturday since we split and i have cried almost non stop since ~ why? He hurt me so much but i feel i will always mourn what we lost. We should have been married for 21 years now, not about to get divorced. I fought against ending it for so long but i just had to or as my little sister put it ~ i was slowly dying ~ staying with him.

In so many ways i have moved on, i really didnt expect it to hurt so much still. I have an amazing man in my life, who i am deeply in love with, but it is in a different way, a grownup way, no less intense, but they are so very different.

I know i was right to move on so why cant i stop crying over it ~ when will this hurt lessen.....