so sorry you are hurt, it takes a long time for the heart to heal, just let it happen, sorry you are crying, hang in there, look at all that you have now, you are much better off, maybe you never let it all out after you separated and there is no closure yet? I am divorced 5 years and am with a wonderful person now, i never look back, it's too painful being that I put up with such crap for years. Be happy.... take care of yourself!