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Aug 11, 2009, 06:39 PM
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I'm becoming brave.
I'm spilling my guts out in my diary (that until then I didn't write in) I'm putting as much in there as possible and giving it to T at the end of our next session (whenever that my be) I just can't live like this without someone else knowing and because I don't want my family to know (and I kinda would be awkward having my friends know) he's the person getting an ear full of it all.
I don't think I can possibly write everything about what is going on with these issues over the past YEAR now (lest my hand falls off) but I'm also going to write down the link to my PC blog in there in case he uses the internet so he can read more there. At first I felt scared but I don't anymore... even if I do feel sad now (and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in my head right now)
Of course, after he gets it will probably when the panic starts setting in. God forbid if he wants me to read it out loud, or he reads it himself out loud. I don't think that's something I can handle.
I'm just hoping that all of the things wrong can't possible be written off as normal. (I hate it when that happens because then I don't think people really care enough to help  ) which, after running through it in my head I know that something is up. But I'm not the professional so it's for him to decide.
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