Ok so my wife of almost 4 years recently admiting to cheating on me. She did not come to me about this, its something I had to ask her about and then she broke down and told me. She has had a history of telling me lie after lie after lie about almost anything. Little things, big things ... it doesnt matter. When we met she was going thru a lot of emotional issues. Hated the way she looked, came from an abusive home, low self esteem and low self confidence. I stood beside her and did everything I could to "bring her out of this hole". Since then she has really improved and has grown alot. Last year I was in an accident that has since put me in a wheelchair, not being able to work etc. For the most part my spirit has been up and I have been able to continue with life. I know that I am showing signs of PTSD but I have tried to keep them under control esspecialy around her.
She has a job that she loves, loves dearly. This job puts her in the community helping people so they will no longer have to go thru life like she did earlier in life. This job also requires long hours, sometimes not getting home at night until 7-9pm, she has to go to peoples houses to councel them sometimes after work. Some of her home visits have to be done during the day so she may be gone from her office for 3 hrs. or so at a time. I recently found out that she cheated on me with a guy that kinda works with her. Her job is in a very small town that this guy also works in and he attends some community meetings that her job is affiliated with. She does not see him everyday and claims that she has not seen him in the past month and a half since I found out about this. With her job being so skattered in times that she is away from the office, its hard for me to trust that she isnt seeing him or someone else. The opportunity is there and she has proven to have the willingness to do such a thing.
Call me crazy but I still love this woman. I want my wife back. She has left our home because I told her that I can not move on with us and attempt to get past this until she leaves this job. The things is, she tells me she cant leave her job. Its almost like she has chosen the job over our life. She claims that she loves me and wants to be home with me that she still wants to be married to me. I have even told her if she doesnt leave her job lets go ahead with papers to start a divorce. She has said over and over she does not want to do this. She wants to be with me and she loves me. She swears she will never see this guy or do anything like this again. I have always heard during an affair you have to make sure that all contact between the two have to be cut off. I dont think this will happen if she stays at her job. Also, my thoughts, if you have done something this horrid to your husband and you really want him back, wouldnt you, shouldnt you want to do anything to fix it. Even if it means leaving your dream job?
Sorry for the long post. There is still so much I want to say but I will follow up later. Help me out here people. If my thought prossess is wrong please let me know. I am loosing my mind here. I love my wife.