Just as Idontknow, I read your post at least 12 hours ago and it's been percolating.
Were it not for assistance, either I wouldn't be able to handle my med cocktail at all, or I would struggle with it imperfectly every day.

I agree with the others here; it is best to inform your team the meds (with the exception of Ativan?) are not working in that combination AND you are having trouble remembering to take each dose. Beyond that, it can't hurt to just be open with them about your frustration with the med regime. They're there to please you - not you them.

It's true. For some of us birthdays are not happy occasions. As much as your family may want to have a party or even just celebrate you, you're not in a place where you can appreciate it the way they may assume you will or "should" appreciate it. Hopefully you can gently educate them about that.

An aside: Ativan has a powerful effect on me, so, not wanting to lose that effect through overuse, at one point I stopped using it regularly. I explained this to my pdoc and he supported me. I'm very glad we have the kind of relationship where he'll trust me on things like this.

Wishing you an end to the pharmaceutical turbulence and to depression altogether!