Hi BD
I have read what you wrote here. And as with Hunny, my heart so goes out to you. How difficult this all must be. Maybe first step is to focus on you.

when you talked tonight (tuesday night) in chat, I thought about how hormones can go wacky when one is pregnant. I so agree with everything Hunny said re support. wherever that can be found. I am glad this is one place. And i hope that you can find that in community where you live also.

I know you are concerned about medications considering that you are pregnant. Perhaps your gyn would know of things that medically are safe to take. Also, there are natural substances that naturopaths or Homeopaths know about. If that appeals to you. Personally, I am on a rx and do homeopathy and work with a naturopath. So I have respect for all. But I do need a RX also.

I cannot imagine being in your position. Feeling alone and in pain while carrying a beautiful life in you. Perhaps reaching out to your obgyn would be a good beginning??? My blessings for you and that wonderful life you are carrying.