hi hon

i'm sorry you're going through depression.

i do understand your reticence in telling your boyfriend about this. there are some people who are not able to understand depression, and many times it's impossible for those to understand, if they've not experienced it themselves.

however, if you are suffering from depression and hide it from him, he would likely notice some changes in your behavior, and may create his own ideas about what is going on with you. and it might build a wall between you, in your relationship.

my personal opinion only, is that it is best to very open with him - but it's possible that you could make an appointment with a counselor or psychologist first, they will test you for depression, you can get some free pamphlets / materials about depression. then plan a time when you know you and bf won't be interrupted or distracted and tell him you are going through a depression, that it's not his fault, that you want to see a therapist and may use a combination of talk therapy and meds (most normal procedure) to achieve a state of normalcy again, and you need and want his support through this

you can also explain that the reason you went ahead for an appointment without his knowledge was to MAKE SURE that you are in a real depression, to see how severe it is, and to get some information so that he can read it, and therefore not be unduly worried about you ie;, depression is more common than we think and also that it CAN be overcome and controlled IF you seek help for it.

also, counselors and psychologists usually work on sliding scale fees and there are resources for nearly any budget, if you just ask. (where you live, there may even be government health resources - i am in the u.s. and we are on a private system)

if your boyfriend truly loves you he will stand by you and support you as you work to get better. but, make sure to help him get the right information so that he can understand depression more clearly. i wish you the very best.