I know what you mean about your therapist. I can't even explain what it is we do in a session, but I feel like because there's someone to listen, that I can keep from falling apart between sessions...usually.

My brain is out of whack hyper right now, but I know how easy it is to go from this to doing something stupid and/or crashing into depression.

I almost cried in my last session with my T, but I got afraid and sucked it all up because I think if I start I won't be able to stop for another 6 months. I don't know.

Sorry about the grandmother. She sounds like she was an amazing person. I've always felt old inside from an early age, so when I encounter and older person so full of life, energy, enthusiasm, I'm naturally drawn to them. I wish I could give them my life to continue as well. I don't know why I'm a weary soul. Maybe I've just not found my place in this world yet.

Cheering you on as you are working very hard at getting well. We'll make it through this.