(((((((((( depressedalaskan ))))))))))

I understand. I wonder if you have come across the concept of 'time-sharing.' You say in your post that you spend a lot of time fighting the depression and have tried all sorts of things. With 'time-sharing' you allow a little time each day to let that depression take over. Just sit with it for an hour a day. No more than than. What it does is to let the brain have it's time to feel yucky and then you can get on with things. You accept the depression as part of you. It doesn't rule you constantly because it stops fighting you and you stop fighting it. It takes practice though.